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Sometimes, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You’re riding high and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually followed by a “crash”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his behavior, leaving him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from others. He came to wonder he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he doubts he would have taken the label if he hadn’t independently formed that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people conceal it, because of widespread prejudice around the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in Narcissism

Although three-quarters of people identified as having NPD are males, studies indicates this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says an individual who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. Frequently, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she explains, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this behavior – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples during development. I’ve had to teach myself continuously which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that as a kid,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my family members were insulting me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be linked to early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: “They said it is likely to occur in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the rise of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number